As we went around and answered questions, we came to a personal question asking how are Christian blessings worth what Christ requires us to give up for Him. The first person to answer shared that she has a hard time giving up her children over to the Lord. They are her children and if they were to suffer, she feels that she wouldn't be able to handle it. She shared that life has been very good to her and she has not ever dealt with tragedy and so she hopes and prays that when her time comes, that it wouldn't involve her children.
I totally get that and if Field wasn't born with a CHD, I would probably say the same thing. But after hearing that, my heart hurt. I am living out her worst nightmare. No, Field is not sick. But the reality is that his heart is not whole, he will require another serious open heart surgery in the very near future, his cardiac care is for life, and one day, he will say things like "why me" and "this isn't fair."
Am I afraid? Of course. Do I carry that burden and worry alone. Of course not.
I have every reason to have hope for Field. I will not allow my fears to take away my joy. Receiving His peace, joy, and hope is so much greater when I allow Jesus to carry my fears about Field. I will not store my treasures in earthly desires. I will live by His grace and I will trust in His promises.
I will be strong. I will be courageous. I will not be afraid. I will not be discouraged. (Joshua 1: 3-9)
